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I hope I didn’t brain my damage. (Homer)

Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom. (Reverend Lovejoy)

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. (Dr. Nick)

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get. (Homer)

I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. (Ed Begley Jr.)

I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. (Bart)

How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. (Homer)

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. (Homer)

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. (Homer)

Me fail English? That’s unpossible. (Ralph)

The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… (Comic Book Guy)

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. (Mr. Burns)