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"Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin" (S01E09, The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization)

Penny: Hey Sheldon, did you change your wifi password again?
Sheldon: Yes. It's "Penny get your own wifi". No spaces.

Ot was a worm summer evening in Ancient Greece....

So  this is engineering  huh? Engineering  where the noble semi-skilled labor...

So, this is engineering, huh? Engineering, where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa Loompas of science!

Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your can!

Your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy, an action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory, or my LEGO fun time!

Sheldon: Howard your'e shoes are delightful where did you get them
Howard: What
Sheldon: BAZINGA i don't care

Björn Leví Valgeirsson

I cry because people are stupid and that makes me sad

I cry because people are stupid and that makes me sad

I present to you, the relationship agreement.

I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion

Sheldon: Which is it, a jacuzzi or a bathtub? You see Kurt, all Jacuzzis are bathtubs but not all bathtubs are jacuzzis.
Kurt: Like, thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs?
Sheldon: Ah, yes.
Kurt: Oooooh, ok. So what exactly are toes?

Sheldon: Women, you are playing with forces beyond your can!
Penny: Yeah, well, your ken can kiss my barbie.