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"Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!"

"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?!?"

"...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped."

"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who."

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."

Strange women laying in ponds distributing swords is no bases for a system of government.

"This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."

What is your favorite color?
Red...No green ahhhhh!

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

"We are the knights who say....Ni!"

"You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest., with... A HERRING!!"