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Let's play a game of whose life sucks worse ... I'll win, I always win

If I murdered someone she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.

Change. We dont like it. We fear it. But we cant stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesnt is lying. But heres the truth. Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything.

I make mistakes. That's what I do. I speak without thinking. I act without knowing. I drink so much that I can barely walk. I'm a fantastic lover & an amazing friend. God knows I mean well...

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change

Hot perfect sex requires shaved legs.

Bad dreams, bad dreams go away, good dreams, good dreams here to have to say it 3 times to make it work..

When your life is sucky you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It's your thing

The expected is what keeps us steady. It's the unexpected that changes our lives forever.

I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.

Actually, I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. But I will answer to Satan.