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sarcasm

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Oh  my God  I care so little I almost past out

"Oh, my God, I care so little I almost past out."

Id call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

On the plus side  death is one of the few things that can be done as easily l...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.

Roses are red

Roses are red
Violets are blue
He's for me
Not for you
If by chance
You take my place
I'll take my fist
And smash your face

Who said it was easy to love?

Loving someone is more dangerous than an idiot with a loaded gun.