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I love the nerd on the chess team He knows it but doesn t believe it because ...

I love the nerd on the chess team...He knows it but doesn't believe it because I'm (according to my friends) the pretty girl...HE THINKS I'M PLAYING A JOKE.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.

How do you wake up lady gaga?

How do you wake up lady gaga?

You poke her face

The awkward moment when channel 69 is all about God and religion.

Who cleans the ocean?

The mermaids

What does the skeleton use to call his friends


Your mom is so stupid that she puts makeup on her head to make up her mind.

When we can't laugh again and again on the same joke...
there's no point crying again and again for the same pain...