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This application will give you some funny quotes that will make your day! :)
Dont hit kids! No, seriously. They have guns now.
I never discriminate people, I hate everybody equally
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.