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Some of the best quotes of the famous american director, actor and comedian. In this app you'll find Allen's take on some of the subjects that obsess most men: love, sex, death, politics and life itself.

Throughout his successful career, Woody Allen has been nominated 23 times and won 4 Academy Awards: 3 for Best Original Screenplay and 1 for Best Director.

Enjoy!

Woody Allen Quotes

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Some of the best quotes of the famous american director, actor and comedian. In this app you'll find Allen's take on some of the subjects that obsess most men: love, sex, death, politics and life itself. Throughout his successful career, Woody Allen has been nominated 23 times and won 4 Academy Awards: 3 for Best Original Screenplay and 1 for Best Director. Enjoy!

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Woody Allen Quotes > funny

lujanibarra

Published 2224 days - 0 stars

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I will not eat oysters

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

oysters food funny

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lujanibarra

Published 2224 days - 0 stars

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The food here is terrible  and the portions are too small

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

portions food funny

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lujanibarra

Published 2224 days - 1 star

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On the plus side  death is one of the few things that can be done as easily l...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

funny death sarcasm

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lujanibarra

Published 2600 days - 0 stars

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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

fun funny

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lujanibarra

Published 2600 days - 0 stars

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"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night"

funny

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