1 contributed 1 participating + Info
If at first you don't succeed...hit on her friend
Ode to the Sexless Innkeeper:
Twas the night before New Years and the weather grew mean. Twas three in the morning and I was stranded in Queens! The tavern grew empty, the gaslights grew dim. The horse-drawn carriages were all but snowed in. Last call was approaching and my fortunes looked bleak, then I turned to my left and stifled a shriek! She had a peach fuzz beard and weighed 16 stone. She gobbled up hot wings..and swallowed the bones. I muffled a scream, and threw up in my mouth. I asked "Where do you live?" and she said "One block south". I swallowed my pride, and six shots of whiskey. And prayed to the Gods that she wasn't too frisky. Back in her cave, she prepared a snack. Beneath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack. But when she returned, she found a sound sleeper...and thus she became the Sexless Innkeeper and so are you
So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiancée. He should be out here celebrating! He's free! He got that red-headed tumor removed.
In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story
Girls whose names end in LY are always dirty: Holly, Kelly, Karly... Lily.
Inventing your own word shows creativity and vision—Visiotivity!!
Hi, have you met me?
Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!
The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old
You CAN do this! But to be more accurate- you probably can't.
Bros don't let bros watch Sandra Bullock movies. Except Speed. That movie was awesome.