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The Simpsons

The Simpsons Quotes

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The Simpsons

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Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. (Homer)

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anasmilovic

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How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. (Homer)

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I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. (Bart)

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I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. (Ed Begley Jr.)

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Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get. (Homer)

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Inflammable means flammable? What a country. (Dr. Nick)

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I hope I didn’t brain my damage. (Homer)

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Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. (Principal Skinner)

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Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! (Marge)

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Look out, Itchy! He’s Irish! (Milhouse)

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A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. (Mr. Burns)

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A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. (Homer)

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