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Georges Carlin's Best

Carlin Quotes

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Georges Carlin's Best

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raydatking

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"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam."

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raydatking

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"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work."

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raydatking

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"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

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raydatking

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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

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raydatking

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"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."

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raydatking

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" It’s never just a game when you’re winning."

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raydatking

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"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."

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raydatking

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"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

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raydatking

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“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?"

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"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."

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"When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat."

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"The status quo sucks."

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