How to become friendly
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How to become Friendly
That’s not to say that closed people should always be avoided, but it’s more effective to warm them up slowly. It’s likely they’re just shy or nervous. When they see your friendliness and open signals they might open up. If not, just move on. It probably has nothing to do with you personally.
Refusal to make eye contact conveys a lack of self confidence and trustworthiness. It makes other people suspicious and unlikely to respect you. Make a concerted effort to look every person you speak with directly in the eye. If that’s too much to ask, an old trick is picking a spot on the lower forehead to stare at.
The idea of reading body language can seem like voodoo, but the truth is you’re already doing it. The mind subconsciously interprets body language and uses it to form impressions.
Break your worst habits. You might not realize it, but these could be affecting your relationships. You will be less honest with people if you're hiding awful habits that you are ashamed of. It will feel like a weight is lifted from your shoulders, as cheesy as it sounds.
Have a sense of humor. Even if you don't think a joke is funny, try to laugh! You'll notice you actually laugh more naturally, and it cheers you up. Don't be the spoil sport of the bunch - learn to enjoy yourself!
Try talking about positive topics. Nobody likes hearing how awful your life is, or what your latest relationship problem may be - always talk about the better parts of even your worst days. It will not only lighten up a conversation, it will help the people around you see that you are a bright and positive person.
Learn to speak small talk. Avoid those awkward conversations by always being prepared with something to say during a silence. This doesn't mean to carry around a reference book, but try to remember things that might spark up a conversation with various different people. It's particularly impressive if you remember something about a conversation you've had with them before. Follow up on anything you may have talked about.
Smile when you see people you recognize. As you walk through the office, down the hallway, etc., you may realize that it's a natural reaction to look at something else or do something with your hands rather than acknowledge a new acquaintance. Try your best to look in their direction and give them a warm smile to let them know you care.
If everyone at work is going out on Friday evening then ask anyone who may not know if they want to come along as well. If you're meeting some friends later that night, ask your new acquaintance if he wants to join you. If you run into a buddy on the street for five seconds, tell him that you're going to be a Dan's place later if he wants to drop by. Of course, when you throw invitations out like this, they won't always be accepted, but that's alright.
Invite people to do things with you/the group
Be fairly loose and generous with your invitations to people. Be the one to invite people out rather than waiting for them to come to you first. Don't feel you have to know someone for a long time either. If you seem to get along with them then why not ask them to do something? If you like your new coworker or classmate, ask them if they want to grab a drink later, or come by your place to chill. If you run into a friend downtown, and neither of you is doing anything, ask if they want to grab a bite to eat, or if one of you is busy, suggest you get together later some time. Don't feel you have to know someone for a predesignated amount of time before you can hang out with them.
Take time to talk to people you already know
If you see someone you know, then go over and see what's going on with them. Catch up with what they've been up to lately, or just talk about whatever. Keep in touch with your friends. Stop and chat to your coworkers when they're not too busy. Maintain your relationships and show you're interested in the other people. If you see someone you know, don't avoid them because you don't feel like talking, or pretend not to notice them because you're worried the conversation will be stilted. Go up to them and chit chat for a few minutes.
Chat back to people who try to talk to you
Have you ever tried making pleasant conversation with someone you've run into, and they blew you off by giving one word responses and obviously looking like they don't want to be spoken too? You probably walked away thinking they were pretty unfriendly, even if you intellectually knew they may have had a reason for being brusque. If someone is trying to chat with you, make an effort to give them something back in return.